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Weiti Short Handed Series Programme


Fish

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In the interests of keeping blood off by decks - I know he needs a hair cut, KM you had better get glasses!! saying that - it could be entertaining.....might sit with AA & Fish and watch the fireworks. Boats insured....just!.....BUT in saying that JH will be away for the next one so might have to find a "ring in"......and yes KM - time to think about bigger headsails - in this case bigger is better :lol:

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km, youre welcome to bring your daughter along for the next race

You're to young to die just yet. D2 would rip you to little pieces just for a a chocolate muffin, she has the power to do that, the 4ft of destruction machine on legs. I think D1 is the one for you but she is lining up to be a high maintenance unit so while they may look the part you don't want one of those either. One will take you physically, the other financially.

 

In the interests of keeping blood off by decks - I know he needs a hair cut, KM you had better get glasses!!
I was hoping for JH to come back with a smart arsed comment, he can be quite good at them you know. But the bugger didn't take the very deliberate and intentional bait :?

Oh well, it was worth a crack all the same ;)

 

I have a overlapper but with such wide spreaders it's crap hard on and knot that flash otherwise. Also it's knot a declared sail in our inventory. But I do have another interesting sail you may see, conditions willing. It'll look weird but giggle at your peril or so I hope.

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:lol: I could have worded that a little better I think.

 

Tempted to bring D1 up just for JH. He'll very quickly learn 'don't judge a book by it's cover' and 'all women are loonies no matter what age they are', chase them at your peril :lol: :lol:

 

D2 is into the Kung Fung too, no idea why as she damages just about everything she touches now :?

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km, youre welcome to bring your daughter along for the next race
D1 has been sussing you.

 

In the interest of extending your life read, digest and follow to the letter -

 

Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

 

Rule Two:

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

 

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

 

Rule Four:

I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

 

Rule Five:

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

 

Rule Six:

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

 

Rule Seven:

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Harbour Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like anti-foul my boat?

 

Rule Eight:

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a full set of Musto Offshore wet gear - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Rugby games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Being found together on or even mentioning the words 'Pied Piper' will result in you becoming part of a anchor testing programme.

 

Rule Nine:

Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and a very big secluded backyard. Do not f*ck with me.

 

Rule Ten:

Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

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Excellent KM !!!

Have just printed off your rules, will keep them in storage for about ten yrs, then staple them to my front door.

In advance, can I borrow your shot gun for a couple of years ? :clap:

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Been waiting a while to use those actually. More just in jest in this case though.

 

JH, apparently your facebook whatever is open to the world so D1 has been sussing you, the nosey little cow. D1 tells me you are 'obsessed' with yachts, nothing wrong with that keep it up. :thumbup:

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Haha that is awesome nothing wrong with pied pipers though :shh:

Nothing what so ever wrong with Piedie's.... assuming there is zero connection, in any form what so ever, with either D1 or D2 :wink:

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Perhaps KM.....just perhaps....if indeed young j.harken is to be 'one of the family' ...so to speak...albeit on a very temporary basis...although a family Christmas might be nice for you both.....

 

...perhaps you could take him under your manly and experienced wing .... and have a wee chat , so, if indeed the act is enacted it is done in a tasteful, caring and loving way ? Rather than his usual aggressive 'blow the tack and she'll be right' bowman styled approach?

 

Just look around and spot the over-sheeted gennakers and think to yourself - technique has a lot to do with it and often you don't know until you have been told. :)

 

Luv

 

EE

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:lol: If taking about D1 he'll have to man up quick or she'll ear him to pieces. I will be watching but more just to make sure his Mum and Dad get to see him again. To be very honest I see JH more at risk from D1 than he ever would be from me. Hey, we'll have a cold beer or 6, maybe in a years time, and talk boats, nothing wrong there. But she'll make him buy one and with her tastes I'm seeing something in the 50 plus foot range as a mimimum :)

 

If talking boats the more he over sheets anything the happier I'll be. Quite frankly I do think Bump sails way too loose and should really sheet their sails in a lot harder......... all the time........... please :)

 

And stop knocking bowmen, I'm still very much one at heart and yes we do have to be ruff to offset the often pussys at the blunt end. Up the Brotherhood :thumbup:

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:lol:

And stop knocking bowmen, I'm still very much one at heart and yes we do have to be ruff to offset the often pussys at the blunt end. Up the Brotherhood :thumbup:

 

I thought it was a sisterhood

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Calm down big fella. We are all Bros when working on the bow, even if the odd one can wear a bikini bloody well.... and no I'm knot talking Squid even though we know he likes to think he can :lol: :lol:

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