Gay Sailors

[Guest]

There must be a joke in there somewhere, what's worse than a gay multihull sailor?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A: The Holocaust.

[Guest]

There must be a joke in there somewhere, what's worse than a gay multihull sailor?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A: The Holocaust

 

A: A proa sailor

[Guest]

BTW, thanks Pewit for your post, which was probably an attempt at being serious in spite of all the silliness going on here. I didn't even know we had events like that, you are more than welcome to send us updates from the world of gay sailing!!!

[Guest]

Hi David,

I'd like to reply to Atom Ant's good post on the viewtopic.php?f=6&t=19148&start=30 link.

 

I think it is all to do more with comfort of association. The feeling one will be accepted for who one is, and the acceptance of bounds that differ from one cultral group to another..

 

When I was at school, if you were you were straight, middle class, sports orientated and did ok at school work you fitted in well and would have plenty of friends. But move to either side of the norm and it would be harder to make friends. Granted, as more people have become accepting, and this is main point, that acceptance has made life so much more diverse and rewarding.

 

It is the comfort of acceptance that anyone, no matter what makes them different from the norm, that makes life go from just bearable to wow, life is great.

 

I went to a school in my teens that was completely different to my other schools, and what a difference to my life, I excelled, made friends easily and hardly ever got into a fight, compared to the other schools where most terms would see us in trouble with the headmaster. Strangely enough the great school had a very strict set of rules and people were expected to follow them.

 

One of the things drummed into the pupils was acceptance of differences, we had different cultures there, people from very poor to very, very rich. Being an all boys school, and the times being a bit homo not friendly then, while there was about a 10 % chance that one of my friends were maybe gay, but how the heck would you be brave enough to ask someone... are you gay .?.

 

Had the boys' school been say an all gay boys' school, it would have made getting a friend that thought the same way so much easier. Lets face it, when a straight guy goes to a school dance or sees a nice girl at a co ed school, usual conditions such as compatibility of course apply, but he does have a pretty good chance of chatting up and going out with the girl and no one would give them a hard time for it.

 

Compare that to a gay guy in a co ed school or for that matter an all boys' school, and statistically he would assuming having a 50 % girls and 50 % boys mix at the school, have 10 % of the 50 % of the school to find a similarly minded friend to ask out to a dance or movies with the thought of long term romance.

 

Say a school of 500 people. Assuming perfect personalities and matches otherwise, out of the 500 around 50 % are girls, so they can be assumed not a date for the gay guy... That leaves the 50 % who are boys of which is 250 people. Now obviously asking out the hottest guy, might seem logical as would a straight guy asking out the hottest girl, but the gay guy has to contend with the very real likleyhood of that guy being one of the 90 % who are straight, the gay guy might get a polite thanks, but I'm straight, nowadays, but in my school days I would I think had I been brave enough to ask, I would have ended up with a bloody nose for asking...so I never did.

 

So out of the 10 % statically who are thought to be gay, how the heck do you know who are ?! Statistically it should be 10 out of every hundred, so say 25 boys who are gay in the school.

 

But how to ask, particularly if the consequences of getting it wrong are so great, a thump or being laughed at for the rest of the school life ?. My partner looks kind of gay, but I don't, so it is hard to know who to ask out from looking at first, and so much moreso when I was at school.

 

Now compare that to say a straight guy, he has probably a 90 percent likelyhood that the girl he asks will be straight and so he has technically a likely 225 -250 girls to ask out and if he finds by mistake the girl is gay, no problems he won't get hit or get a hard time from the girl.

 

What would be neat I think would be for those still at class that is, for a gay school to be allowed, and while that does raise some form of equality problems, if one could forget that for the argument, imagine the changed life for gay guys at school, instead of not being allowed to bring a guy on a school dance it would be well normal, and for long term romance so much more likely , and for the likelyhood of being thumped for asking, almost non existent.

 

Of course in the real world, even if there was a gay school, there is still the just because one is gay orientated, it doesn't mean you would like everyone. But you can see what I mean, it would make the odds more like it is for a straight guy in a co ed school.

 

So how does this relate to sailing clubs ?

 

Assuming the same statistics, and assuming you are a young unmarried / unpartnered gay guy, how the heck do you know if the neat chap that is really friendly, gives you a hug after the race and invites you for a weekend sail, is keen on you or is simply being a great mate ?

 

What would happen do you think if, on accepting the trip, after knowing each other for a few years and wondering why he doesn't date girls, you asked him if he was gay, if the guy wasn't, he would be resentful perhaps, and it could spoil a good friendship. Hopefully he would laugh it off though, but it would be embarrassing.

 

Compare that to the same friend, but in a gay sailing club, asking if he was gay would not be needed, and one would tend to get a better idea if the trip was a mates' weekend away sailing or a romantic date request pretty much more easily. Putting it another way, if you as straight guy invited the mates from Crew.org.nz out for weekend sail, the expectation would be a few beers/ rum and a great sail, if you invited a girl or two out for a weekend sail you might be forgiven for thinking of more than a sailing weekend..there might be a bit of romance, holding hands, that sort of thing involved..The same for a gay guy in gay sailing club, it just makes it easier to ask someone out I think.

 

 

So in answer to Atom Ant, yep I agree we don't need to share our private sex lives to the rest of the crew, though from what I hear on boats and at work, straight guys do say quite a bit now, grin.. and to fit in with workmates' banter I simply had to change my replies to workplace banter, changing from my boyfriend and I did this,.. to my girlfriend and I did this, and I fitted in with the banter at work no problems.

 

Had to do that as my then boss said he would fire anyone who was gay.. when I started the job, it was easy to simply say my girlfriend whenever the question was asked.

 

 

Also in reply, I do think that either having a gay club or at least a very accepting usual one where talk of gay stuff is not going to make someone cringe, is what is needed, for gay people to participate in the sport as they do now but more openly , without fear of being given a hard time.

 

Simply put, imagine we were all at a sailing event. Races won and at the prize giving, a dance held, if the opti winner or say a laser winner was a guy and picked out a girl to dance with or brought his girlfriend to the dance, everyone would say oh that's cute or not be concerned, but the same thing with the winner bringing his boyfriend or male teammate to the dance would look odd, and awkward. That is the bit that a gay sailing club would solve. If everyone is gay, then it isn't likely to be a awkward or odd situation.

 

I remember well, while helping a friend distribute safe sex pamphlets and toolkits.. at a gay bar, something I had never been to before, how odd at first it looked, guys dancing with guys to house music and girls also doing the same but with girls, it made me think... then after a bit it seemed pretty cool and I thought neat, if only everywhere was so open and accepting.

 

People could be themselves without worrying if anyone saw, as well everyone was similar.

 

Lastly, I thought it might be good to see how other countries look at the gay subject overseas. I found three adds, one serious and two very funny ads on you tube. Ok, quite a few.. This is how acceptance and being part of a group, can affect everyone for the good, from a young age to adulthood even.

 

Norway gay ad. Was your first school dance like this, ?. I remember having a crush on my friend but I would have been too shy to ask..

 

Macdonalds in France, come as you are...

 

Fosters Call center..

 

Motorola, take care where you use your phone..!.

 

For the girls..

 

 

I couldn't find any funny ones about gay sailing, sorry.

 

I also added this one on how being different affects one's perception of one's self, until we find out it, being different, doesn't really matter as much as we thought.

 

 

 

Not gay, but how being able to be oneself and still have support from friends, makes a difference..

 

For the gingers out there.

Redhead.

 

Simply put, people need to feel accepted and liked. If you are the only gay guy on a boat, it isn't the same as being on a all gay boat I think..Being able or allowed to sail with someone as long as a gay guy doesn't act who they really are, is ok, but way more cool when sailing with like minded people who share the same views. Hence the need for a gay sailing club.. They have them overseas, none seen here though. I met my partner on a gay fourwheel drive club. My straight friend always said a fourwheel drive is a cool way to meet people. He met his girlfriend that way.

 

 

I guess, given time , things will more open and which way one swings won't affect work opportunities or school dances or how comfortable crewmates are picking up the soap in the after sailing, club showers, grin. People will then be able to have a laugh without being PC, and yet still be courteous.

 

I think that pretty much explains it.

[Guest]

Whats worse? A grey gay multihull sailer!

 

The above post opens my eyes. Never saw it like that or thought about those sort of problems so well said. I believe sailers are generally more accepting of "differences" and reading through this thread bolsters that idea. When I was younger and even now gay guys seemed to be brave enough to hit on me but I've never hit or insulted the person just declined politely.

Seems to me its more a matter of getting rid of all forms of negativity, we then could enjoy differences.

[Guest]

Well said anonymous responder via the Ogre. Well said indeed.

[Atom Ant 0]

Indeed well written. I guess I have looked at it rather simplistically as when I go sailing, I'm not actually looking to do anything except sail the boat, hence why I thought it didn't matter.

 

But I do understand where you are coming from. Many years ago now I started sailing on a yacht with a crew who had been sailing together for years - & I just didn't fit in. And in particular with one individual. I kept at it for a while but in the end I rang the skipper and said I wasn't going to continue sailing on his boat. For me I understood it was nobody's issue as such, sometimes you just don't gel. The skipper is a bloody nice guy, and he could see I wasn't enjoying it on his boat. Yada yada yada, but in thinking about it, I didn't feel accepted on that boat, for whatever reason and that want a nice feeling at all.

 

Any person who enjoys sailing should be able to do it in a way they enjoy. So I hope you do.

[Guest]

http://www.bcbc.net/links.htm

 

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gaysailinggroup/?tab=s

 

http://www.rainbowdancer.com/gayboating.html

 

http://gaysailing.org.uk/

 

http://www.realjock.com/gay-personals/sailing

 

http://www.ksa-nyc.org/

[Kiwi303 0]

I'm in the anchor and as usual bracket, to put that in perspective I'm straight, white, male and rapidly heading for middle age.

 

However at Uni I was in the Student Union and just down the hall from the Union offices was the GBLT clubroom which is where I spent a lot of my coffee breaks simply because the Union break room had instant but the Queer Club (ASKEW @ Waikato Uni) had a coffee machine with real beans.

 

I also got my first threesome there, a nice pair of bi girls (one a stunner and one so-so, but well worth knowing for her friends sake) wanted a bit of variation in their sex life...

 

 

There are many benefits to straight guys knowing and getting along with those of different orientations Well worth having to give the occasional guy a gentle brush off that I was just there for the coffee, not the guys.

[smithy09 50]

I'm in the anchor and as usual bracket, to put that in perspective I'm straight, white, male and rapidly heading for middle age.

 

However at Uni I was in the Student Union and just down the hall from the Union offices was the GBLT clubroom which is where I spent a lot of my coffee breaks simply because the Union break room had instant but the Queer Club (ASKEW @ Waikato Uni) had a coffee machine with real beans.

 

I also got my first threesome there, a nice pair of bi girls (one a stunner and one so-so, but well worth knowing for her friends sake) wanted a bit of variation in their sex life...

 

 

There are many benefits to straight guys knowing and getting along with those of different orientations Well worth having to give the occasional guy a gentle brush off that I was just there for the coffee, not the guys.

Like your style Kiwi303!!

[Bad Kitty 252]

Agree Smithy, dip me in honey & throw me to the lesbians!

[Guest]

You are all sick f**ks !!!! you can't beat pussy and tits ,wake up people you all need help ! Go the mighty pussy I say !!!!

[Guest]

You are all sick f**ks !!!! you can't beat pussy and tits ,wake up people you all need help ! Go the mighty pussy I say !!!!

 

never ever ever drink and type......foibles surface you may not want to know about

[Wannabe 0]

Wow, this thread is still going!

 

With respect to the poll... why fly a flag to advertise your sexual preferences on a pole? Im not all that familiar with anchorage etiquette, but is that a way to say 'gay friendly social antics on board' ? Whatever is it that's being advertised, im pretty sure it doesn't appeal to me and I think I would prefer to be out of earshot. All other things being equal, i'll park over the other side by that hot looking catamaran where I can drool over her sculpted curves and beamey deck.

 

At the end of the day, the average kiwi bloke is not gay, and would have a pretty strongly negative reaction to seeing displays of male homosexuality. Its not the social norm, and if you're a gay sailor (but not in the navy) you're in a minority... just like you are if you're a threesomist, or a ginga, or a Maori, or if you vote for labour! Whoop-de-doo! We're all in some kind of minority, but there'l be lot of boat clubs around if we try and create one for every controversial minority. Peoples prejudices are generally aimed at groups, not individuals, so be your own individual gay threesomist ginga Maori labour voting self... dont flaunt it , dont hide it .

 

I imagine you're just as safe (or unsafe) on crew.org as you are on iVoteLaber.org, or on gingaz.org... There's a core focus, your side interets will attract ribbing from some quarters, but you're likely to get more jip when you advertise the size of your boom vang... You may get a reprieve if you insist that you're a sensitive new age softy who cant handle any jip... maybe... more likely your contemporaries will tell you to harden up.

 

 

Well, i'm glad I've learnt about rainbows. If I forget mine, and im handed a rainbow cap, i'll be sure to wear it backwards.

 

 

Im going sailing.

[Guest]

One for Coldplay

[203 0]

One for Coldplay

 

 

love it!

[Guest]

There's a core focus, your side interets will attract ribbing from some quarters, but you're likely to get more jip when you advertise the size of your boom vang...

Or possibly be seen sailing in a No Extras division???

[SloopJohnB 322]

One for Coldplay

 

I had to go one better for my 5000th.

 

 

[Atom Ant 0]

If I was that kitten I'd never wash my face again!

[Guest]

luckily logic isn't a cat trait